Craig Valentine's "Edge of Their Seats" Public Speaking Blog!

My Biggest Mistake and the Two Tools That Fixed It

I've always prided myself in being a content-rich speaker so imagine my surprise when I had the following conversation after a speech. A couple ladies cornered me and said, "You had a lot of content in your speech." I said, "Thank you." Then they said, "We mean you had too much content." At first I thought, "Too much content? I've spent all this time striving to be a content-rich speaker and now they're telling me I have too much content?" Guess what? They were right.

The problem with having too much content is just what one of the ladies told me. She said, "As soon as I'd begin writing something down, you'd say something else worth remembering and I wouldn't catch it. Because you shared so many points, I'm afraid I won't recall any of them."

Here's the problem many speakers will face if they are not careful

When we start to know more and more about our topic, inevitably that "more" ends up finding its way into our speech. What's important to realize about speaking is that oftentimes less is more. Just because you know more doesn't mean you have to show more within that speech.

Here are two great solutions to keep your audience from feeling lost or overwhelmed

1. Tighten up your structure by calling back to each major point before you move onto the next point. For example, if my point is on Facing Reality, once I make the point I can transition by saying, "So you face reality with whatever measurement scale you use because, remember, you master what you measure. Once you face reality, the next step is to..." Then, every time I finish my other points, I make sure to call back to every single one of the points I already covered. For my four Rs, I'll call back to Facing reality, Relinquishing what's in the way, Relying on the people and processes, and Reforming to a better way. Regularly calling back like this makes your message very clear and keeps your audience members from getting lost.
2. Use my 10 to 1 Rule of Thumb. Part of my mistake was that I tried to fit too many points into too little time. Now I use my 10 to 1 Rule of Thumb. For every 10 minutes I speak, I feel I can make an average of one point that I can illustrate effectively and make palatable for my audience. Therefore, if I'm asked to speak for 45 minutes, I'll do my 4 Rs to Remarkable Results speech. If I'm asked to speak for 30 minutes, I'll do my 3 Rs to Remarkable Results. The key is to heed the old speaker proverb that, "When you squeeze your information in, you squeeze your audience out." By using a similar formula to my 10 to 1, you'll move towards much greater clarity and your message will be easily digested.

So What Can We Learn  from This?

Being content-rich should not include filling your audience up with content until they overflow. Instead, it should be about giving them a few solid, memorable, and actionable ideas that they can use to improve their situation. Indeed less is more. I'll leave it at that.

Be Funny and Clear by Using the Rule of Three

If the most important word in speaking is ‘you,’ the most important number in speaking is three. The Rule of 3 manifests in many ways. It helps make your speech more humorous, clearer, and more memorable.

Use it For Humor

Let’s start with the humor. The Rule of Three applies when you have three examples that you mention back to back to back, and the third provides a twist. For example, when I talk about writing down your perfect day, I say the following:

“I did this years ago and everything I wrote down has come to pass. I wrote down, I wanted to be a professional speaker— I’m a professional speaker! I said I wanted to own my own business – I own my own business. I said I wanted a white Mercedes Benz convertible – I have a white Honda Accord. I’m getting there.”

As you can see, the third example is the twist, and that makes it funny. The interesting thing is this; I’ve actually tried four examples before, thinking it would build up the twist even more, but guess what happened? It fell flat. It just doesn’t work as well. There’s something magical about the Rule of 3. So use three examples, not four, two or five.

Use it For Clarity

Now let’s move on to clarity and making your message memorable. I used to give a one-hour workshop in which I gave my audience 7 Secrets to Speaking Success. It was an okay program, but do you know what took it to a much higher level? I changed the program, and instead of offering seven secrets, I offered three sections. For example, instead of saying, “You’re going to pick up seven strategies,” I said the following:

"If you look at your handout, you’ll see you will first pickup strategies on how you can breathe life into a speech and make your audience come alive. Then you’ll pick up tools on how you can bring the audience to you and keep them engaged at all times, and hopefully awake. And third, you’ll pick up tools on how you can build a message that sticks, so that people will rehire you time and time again."

Do you see the three sections? Instead of having seven spots on my handout for them to fill out, I simply put the following three sections:

1. Breathe life into your speech
2. Bring the audience to you
3. Build a message that sticks

I don’t know why it makes such a difference, and frankly I just don’t care. The bottom line is that it works. Today my audience grasps my message much easier and deeper than they did when I had seven points.

Use it to Make Your Message Stick

Here is the most interesting part. Today I actually give many more than seven pointers in my speech! However, because my audience can fit all of the pointers I give them into the three sections – Breathe Life, Bring Your Audience In, and Build a Message That Sticks – they get the message much clearer, and for some reason it sticks with them better.

Anytime you want to make nine points in a speech (which is probably a speech of at least 90 minutes), separate those points into three sections of three points each. If you have 27 points to make in a day-long workshop, separate them into three sections of nine points each, if possible. Whatever you do, find a way to use the Rule of Three. It flat out works! People remember best in threes.

One caveat:

In a 5-7 minute speech, using the Rule of 3 for humor is fine. However, in terms of points, refrain from trying to make more than one because that’s all the time you have to support and illustrate it. Trying to make 3 points in 5-7 minutes is futile.

The Most Important Word in Speaking Is...

YOU! The word YOU is the most important word in speaking but it is not used enough. One great place to use it is at the beginning of your speech when you set up the structure. Most speakers say, "I would like to share with you 3 strategies to help you do this or that." However, here's a thought: nobody cares what "I would like to share." Instead, we care about what we (the audience) will receive.

Therefore, anytime you find yourself saying something like, "I am going to share 3 ways..." say instead, "YOU are going to receive" or "YOU are about to pick up 3 new tools to help you master change." Do you see the difference? Using the word YOU brings the audience to you and keeps your focus exactly where it should be...on your AUDIENCE. YOU is the most important word in speaking.