Craig Valentine's "Edge of Their Seats" Public Speaking Blog!

A Key to Public Speaking: No Phrase, No Stage (Video)

Have you ever wondered what to keep in your story and what to take out?

Have you ever wondered how to tighten up your message?

Have you ever wondered how to find the phrase that makes your story stick?

Watch the video below and see one of the most important processes for making a point that resonates and sticks.

 

 

For more on the Foundational Phrase and the structure for a keynote speech, visit http://www.createyourkeynote.com/ and take advantage of a limited-time offer.

3 Keys To Hook Your Audience Into Your Story

Tap, Tease, and Transport

Most speakers start their stories and hope their audiences will come along on those journeys. That's average. World Class Speakers don't do that. Instead, they make their audiences curious so that they want to come along. So here is the secret: it's what you do before your story that really matters.

 

Example

For example, before one of my stories, I say the following:

"What do you think is the number one thing that stands between most people living their dreams?" The audience yells out various responses. Then, in a friendly/humorous way I say, "Those are all great answers and if you listen closely they all have the same thing in common. They're all wrong." The audience laughs. Then I say, "No, they're not wrong. They're just not the number one thing in my opinion that gets in the way. The number one thing is not what you think."

What do you think the audience is thinking at that point? Right, they are thinking, "Okay, what is the number one thing?" And that is the key to curiosity. You have to get them to ask themselves a question and let them know the answer is coming up in the story.

 

Tap, Tease, and Transport

This is what I call the Tap, Tease, and Transport method. It is a three step process which includes:

1.   Tapping into your audiences' mind with a question

2.   Teasing them to want to know more

3.   Transporting them into your story

 

The Method in Action

Tap: I tapped into their mind by asking, "What do you think is the number one thing that stands between most people living their dreams?" That was the tap. I got them thinking about themselves!

Tease: Then, I told them, "Your answers are wrong. The number one thing is not what you think." That’s the tease. Now they know they'll find the number one thing inside my story so they are amped up to come along. Why? It is because they know they are going to be given a point that will help them reach their goals.

Transport: Finally, I transport them into my story in stealth fashion. What I mean by that is you should never say, "Well, listen to my story" or "Now I'm going to tell you a story" or anything like that. Instead, sneak into your story. Get them into your story before they realize you're going to tell a story. Once you say something like, "I'm going to tell you a story," many audience members put down their pens and let their minds wander elsewhere. Instead, sneak them into it.

For your next story, try this 3-step method out. When you use the tap, tease, and transport method, you'll look up and see you have everyone's undivided attention as they join you on your journey. Tap, Tease, and Transport.

5 Ways to Use Statistics for Maximum Impact

Note: This blog entry is an excerpt from my latest book World Class Speaking that I co-authored with Mitch Meyerson.

1. Do not Drop Stats off; Drive them Home

Many times you will see a speaker go into a list of statistics in order to prove his or her point. Statistics are certainly desirable in speaking, but only if you use them in an effective way. Simply listing statistics is not enough. You must interpret them so your audience knows exactly what they mean to them.  For example, I have often used the following statistic when driving home a point about life-long learning: "Each year you will spend between 500 and 1000 hours in an automobile." This statistic might be interesting but it certainly is not compelling. That is because it has not been driven home. Here is how you might drive it home:

"Each year you will spend between 500 and 1000 hours in an automobile. If you live to be 75 years old, you will spend approximately 7-10 years of your life in an automobile. Seven years! Here is my question to you. What are you doing with that time? [pause]. Are you simply passing time or using it? Do you know 10 years is enough time for two PhDs? Again, what are you doing with that time? [pause]. I suggest turning your car into a rolling university. You can listen to audio books and quickly become an expert compared to the rest of the country. Oh, but there is one caveat. Please do not use any meditation tapes in the car!"

This is how you can drive a point home by showing your audience exactly how that statistic affects them and what they can do about it. Don’t just drop off the statistic, but drive it home.

2. Use Statistics within a Story

One of the best ways to drive home statistics is by using them inside of your stories. For example, I tell a story about a homeless woman who began teaching me the power of using my imagination to create my future. In the middle of the story, I state the following:

"She struck a chord in me, and anytime someone strikes a chord in me, I go to my rule of three. By the way, if you use this rule, you will be light years ahead of most people in any endeavor you choose. What is it? It is simple. I read three books on that topic. Why? Unfortunately, the average American reads less than one book per year. And 58% of Americans, that is almost 6 out of every 10 Americans, never read another non-fiction book after they finish with their formal education. I have to tell you that the world is wide open for people who are willing to read! So I read something somewhere that said if you read 3 books on any one topic, then you are an expert on that topic compared to the rest of the country. [pause] Do not too get excited; you are an expert by default because nobody else reads! Nevertheless you are ahead of the game. So I read 3 books on Imagination, one was Creative Visualization by..."

If I had stopped at the fact that the average American reads one book per year, then I would have simply dropped off the statistic instead of driving it home. I drove it home by letting my audience know how it affects them and how they can use it to their advantage. In other words, they can get light years ahead of any competition by reading 3 books on a single topic. After this statistic, I continue my story about the homeless woman and how the 3 books on imagination lead to me winning the 1999 World Championship of Public Speaking. Because I cited the statistic within the story, my audience was able to see first-hand how using the statistic to my advantage really paid off. Therefore, they were sold on the benefits and primed to take action (i.e. read 3 books).

3. Statistic vs. Story

The problem with simply listing statistics is that they are relatively impersonal and unemotional. Of course we think, "Oh that is terrible" when we hear about millions of people with AIDS or thousands upon thousands of people living in poverty. However, those statistics will not bring us to tears like the story of one person will. A story will outdo statistics every time. Please remember that your audience makes decisions based on emotion backed up by logic. The story is the emotion while the statistic is the logic. Stating that 1000 people were mugged this year will not touch us like the one story about little Jenny being mugged will. Little Jenny will outdo big statistics every time. Use statistics to back up and give depth to Little Jenny's story.

4. Literally point us to the source

Whether you cite statistics or a sentence from someone's work, please attribute them. In addition, there is an advanced way to have your audience members leave your speech thinking, "Wow, I really got more out of that than what I expected?" What you can do is not only mention the source where you got your statistic or your statement, but point them directly to it. This gives them the opportunity to further their research it if they want. For example, in my speech, I say:

"If you pick up Michael Port’s book called Book Yourself Solid, thumb through to page 36, and look down at the very last sentence in the second paragraph, you will come across the following powerful statement: 'Most business problems are personal problems in disguise.'"

Now isn't that much more visual than simply saying, "Michael Port once said..." It is better because it builds credibility for you. Your audience knows you read it firsthand. Plus, it gives your audience a page to turn to in that book and a reason to purchase it. Remember, if they leave your speech and purchase a book you referred, then you are still touching their lives long after you left the speaking platform. That is the kind of impact you want as a speaker. Point them directly to the source.

5. Use Statistics for Involvement

Finally, you can also use statistics to get your audience involved and to strengthen the kinesthetic connection you have with them. For example, I once heard a fantastic motivational speaker say this to a conference of aspiring speakers:

"Look around you. Look to the person on your left. Now look to the person on your right. Next year at this time, only half you will still be in this organization. Statistics show that half of you will give up. Half of you will not renew your membership. You will give up and quit. Those of you who stay will be winners."

That was very powerful to us newbie speakers because nobody wanted to be in that bottom half of quitters that would be absent next year. When I have my own tough speeches today, I still think back to what that speaker said. As a result, I keep thinking, "I'll keep coming back no matter what." His long-lasting effect is what you want as a speaker and the proper use of statistics will help you make it.

Final Thoughts:

If you put these 5 ways to work for you, that is exactly what they will do. They will work for you. Most speakers list their stats and lose their audience. You can use these 5 ways to win time and time again with your audience. Keep speaking up.

For more ideas that can make you a speaker in high demand, click here to get the World Class Speaking Book

How to Clarify your Message, Shorten it, and make it Stick

Would you like a surefire way to clarify your message, shorten it, and make it stick? One of the best ways to do this is to relate the unknown to the known. In textbook language this is referred to as activating prior knowledge. Analogies help tremendously in this area. Webster’s New World Dictionary’s definition of analogy is “similarity in some ways.” Let me give you an example of an analogy I have used that was extremely effective when I used to give this particular message.

A Powerful Analogy

In one of my stories, I start off by saying, “Nobody has ever died from a snakebite.” After the audience tries to figure out what the Dickens I am talking about, I say, “It is the venom circulating throughout your body afterwards that kills you.” With the audience still a bit confused, I go into a story of how one of my ex-girlfriends wronged me, and I compare this to “being bitten.” To carry the analogy further I compare the “anger and hatred” I felt towards her to the venom circulating inside of me. Finally I state that the only way to get rid of that anger, hatred, and venom is forgiveness. Why? “Because just as a snake will bite you and crawl back in its hole, so will a friend hurt you and go right on with his or her life leaving you to be hurt over and over again.” I then go into selling the benefits of forgiveness.

Why is an analogy important?

Analogies are so important because of the following scenario that occurs quite often with me. Someone approaches me and says, “Craig, I saw you speak 9 or 10 years ago and you talked about the snakebite. Something happened to me and I remembered what you said about nobody ever dying from a snakebite. Man, I realized I had to forgive the person and it really helped me get through that situation.”

The point here is that whether it is one year ago or 10 years ago, people remember your message more clearly if you provide an analogy. Whether you have ever seen a live snake or not, everybody knows what a snakebite is. But not everybody knows that anger and hatred can work the same as venom and be just as destructive. As I often tell my audiences, “If you are holding a grudge, that grudge is also holding you.” Next time someone in my audience is emotionally bitten, hopefully that person will vividly recall how to get the venom out (forgiveness) and return to a grudge-free life.

Other examples:

I’ve heard speakers (including myself) relate the following:

·         Crabs in a barrel to negative people

·         Being hungry for food to being hungry for their dreams.

·         A malignant growth to slavery.

·         Not setting goals to drifting aimlessly on a raft.

·         Refusing to change to being stuck in the mud.

·         A beautiful symphony to racial harmony.

·         Opening holiday presents to using your gifts.

·         Never going for their goals to living life on get-set

·         A telephone call to your life’s calling.

·         A train coming to your purpose in life.

·         And many more

How do you develop analogies for your points?

Simply keep asking yourself, “What is this similar to? What else has some of the same traits in common?” Do this on a daily basis and in no time at all you will have a habit of finding and thinking in analogies. You do not have to carry the analogy out too far but just far enough to see some similarities between two different entities. Go back to Webster’s definition of “similarities in some ways” and understand that, through training your mind to see similarities, you will be able to find them. Again, keep asking, “What is this similar to?”

Here is a 3-step process for developing your own analogies

1. Take your main message and ask yourself, “What is this message similar to?”

2. Make a list of all the ways the two things you are comparing are similar. For example, with a    snakebite compared to being emotionally hurt, I might start my list with the following: 

• The bite is similar to being hurt by someone emotionally

• The snake crawling back in its hole is similar to a person going on with her life after she has hurt you

• The way the venom destroys your body is similar to how a grudge destroys your mind and life

Staying with the snake theme, I could use an analogy for a speech about change by comparing it to a snake shedding its skin. In that case I would make a list like the following:

• A snake that is not shedding completely is similar to a person who is holding on to some old habits and ways

• The temporary sight impairment a snake has during shedding is similar to the unknown zone we must go through during the change process

• A snake’s inability to shed leads to death, which is similar to an organization’s inability to change which leads to closing up shop.

3.                  Once you make your list and draw out the analogy for several levels, then simply go back and pick the best one or two levels upon which you should focus. Don’t use all the levels because your audience will tire of it and say “Enough already.”

One last thing to keep in mind

Check to make sure the analogy you use is appropriate for your specific audience. In other words, it may not be a good idea to use hunting analogies when speaking to an animal rights organization.

5 Ways to Make Your Speech Stick

What good is giving a speech that is quickly forgotten by your audience? In this lesson, you will find 5 tools you can use to make your speech stick in the minds and hearts of your audience members. As a result, you can get rehired time and time again. As I always say, when you get the Buzz, you get the Biz. If you want more business, make your speech create a buzz that lingers even when you have left the speaking platform. 

1. Use a Rule of Thumb

Too many speakers try to get across too much information in too little time. The old speaker proverb states "When you squeeze your information in, you squeeze your audience out." There is no time to connect or really relate when you are rushing through your material. Plus, when you try to get across too many points, you end up accomplishing nothing because your audience is overwhelmed.

My rule of thumb is this: For every 10 minutes I speak, I feel I can make one major point, illustrate it effectively, and make it palatable for my audience. Therefore, in a 45-minute speech, I make 4 points. In a 30-minute speech, I limit myself to 3 points. It is far more effective to deliver fewer points in a mile-deep fashion than to deliver several points by just scratching the surface. Perhaps your rule of thumb will differ, but just make sure you realize less is more when it comes to driving home points.

2. Be Specific so you Can be Memorable

Whether you give hints about how your characters look (see previous blog entry) or you set your seen with the Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, and Smell (VAKS), you should be specific. Here are some things that should be specific in your speech.

Time: Instead of saying, "A while ago" say, "On August 21st of 1999, I stood on the stage at the world championships."

Weight: Instead of saying, "That package was heavy" say, "That package was 34.5 pounds of plastic."

Places: Instead of saying, "I went to a hotel" say, "I was in room 437 of the Suncoast Casino, which is about 20 miles off the Las Vegas strip." Believe it or not, many audience members will actually picture the 437 sign (and your hotel room door) in their minds.  

Giving specific references helps audience members not only see your speech but it also builds the credibility of your story. How? Well, if you say 34.5 pounds, then we (as the audience) know you really weighed it. If you say "August 21st 1999" we automatically feel it must be a very important date and event in your life because you were able to remember it.

Be specific so you can be memorable and build your credibility with your audience.

3. Get your audience members to say it

Tom Hopkins, author of Master the Art of Selling, said, "If I say it, they can doubt me, but if they say it, it is true to them." Getting your audience members to say pieces of your message does wonders for making those messages stick with them. For example, during my 3 Gs to Greatness keynote, once I finish each point, I call back to them by saying, "Use your Unique _______" and then I put my hand to my ear as if I want them to finish the sentence. The audience says, "Gifts!" Then I say, "Set your ______" and they say, "Guide." When they say it, they recall it easier and they buy into it quicker. The law of consistency says that people will act in alignment with what they verbally declare. Therefore getting that declaration goes a long way in having your audience remember your message. Plus, people buy into what they help create. Having your audience help create your speech almost guaranees their buy-in.

The way to get your audience members to say it is for you to first repeat the phrases a few times within your speech. Then, by the end of each section, they will be able to pick up on the cadence and then content of said phrases. For example, after repeating "You are either on the way or in the way," all I have to do is say, "You are either on the way or?" and my audience automatically finishes the rest. 

4. Repeat your message in different ways

 Although it is fine to repeat the same phrase (and you should) as you call back to it throughout your speech, you can also use different phrases to drive home the same message. For example, I have a Foundational Phrase that "Your Dream is not for sale." However, I also repeat, "Do not let the good get in the way of the best" and this second phrase helps drive home the same fundamental message as the first phrase. You do not have to use the same exact words to drive home the same message.

5.  Silence

The reason many ideas do not stick with audience members is because these audience members are not given adequate time to process and reflect on the ideas. If they cannot reflect on how they will use these ideas in their lives, they will likely forget them. Whenever you state your core messages (your Foundational Phrases) ask your audience a question to get them to reflect on the message and then be completely silent during that reflection.

For example, I say, "Sometimes the enemy of the best is the good. So let me ask you a question, when it comes to your dream, are you too good to be great?" I see audience members jolt as if they were hit with a shot of reality when I ask that question. This is the time for me to hush up and give them several seconds to reflect on it. Find strategic times throughout your program to give these major periods of silence (several seconds at least) and let the repetitive messages seek through.

Final thoughts:

Each one of the above-mentioned tools helps your speech stick. However, they work best when used in conjunction with the other tools. For example, if you repeat your phrases throughout your speech, your audience will be able to say them. If you grant silence after those repetitions, your audience will be able to reflect regularly throughout the program. If you have too many of these phrases and points, your audience will get overwhelmed and tune out. Therefore, it is important to use all 5 of the tools above. When you do, you will get the buzz that gets the _________.

 

3 Tools To Keep You From Being Worthless to Your Audience

 

When you build yourself up, you let your audience down. Let's face it; there are some speakers who use the platform to stroke their ego. I may have been one of them in the past. However, when we talk about how great we are and speak only of our successes, our audience members think of us in 1 of 2 ways:

 

1.                   “Wow, he sure is full of himself.”

 or

 2.                   “Well, I guess he’s just special.”

 

As a speaker, being considered special is just as bad as being considered "full of yourself." When your audience sees you as special, they begin to think "Of course that strategy works for him because he’s special. He's a genius." They have a built-in excuse not to use your advice and, consequently, you become worthless to that audience. You can avoid this by using the following 3 Audience Impact Tools that will not only get you connected with your audience but will also spark them to act on your message.

Audience Impact Tool Number 1:

Put the process, not the person, on a pedestal. In other words, don’t brag about yourself; brag about the process (or formula, recipe, toolkit, etc.) you have uncovered in your life’s journey. When you do this, the audience members think, "I am interested in learning more about this process. I don't know if it really works, but I'm interested in learning more about it."

 

This gets your audience a little closer to taking action on your message, because you've succeeded in building interest in your process rather than in you. However, there are still two major obstacles. Although they are interested in your process, they still aren't sure if it really works. Your story should begin to prove to them that the process works, but Audience Impact Tool number 2 will take your audience's confidence in your porto another level.  

Audience Impact Tool Number 2

Quantify your process. For example, in the midst of your story or activity, you might say, "I came across these tools that I now refer to as the 4 Rs to Remarkable Results that you can use to make change work for you instead of against you." Or you might say, "This 4-step formula was used by the great orators of the past and the present. Everyone from Aristotle to Anthony Robbins has used these 4 steps."

 

The reason you should quantify your process is because specifics build credibility. Your process goes from being a loose intangible to a tight proven system. It also naturally builds the curiosity for your audience members to think, "I want to hear all 4 steps. Come on, what's step 1?" In this way, quantifying your process not only builds credibility for that process, but it also teases your audience to want to know more. As a result, they will buy-into the fact that the process worked for you. However, they still might not think it will work for them. That's where tool number 3 comes in handy.  

Audience Impact Tool Number 3

If you want your audience members to act on your message, you must help them feel like you (or the main characters in your story) are similar to them. Think similar, not separate. One strategy you can easily use is to break yourself down so your audience members know you are closer to them than you are to, say, Zeus.

 

For example, I regularly tell people the low score I received the first time I took the SATs. What do you think happens inside of the minds of my audience members? Chances are they think, "Well, if he can be successful with his background, I can definitely be successful at this too. Let me listen up for what process he used to get from A to B."

 

Neither Les Brown nor Anthony Robbins has a college degree and they play that up for all it's worth. It helps their audience members know that it's their processes and formulas, not their special unmatched innate abilities, that have made the difference. This helps audience members feel hopeful.

 

Many average speakers won't allow themselves to share their failures or open up to an audience in this way. However, the quickest way to build a connection with your audience is to share your failures, flaws, frustrations, and firsts (not all of your first, of course). If you do this, you will connect fast and deep.

Final thoughts

Remember, your job as a speaker is usually to sell people on the results they will get when they utilize a certain formula, process, tool, or recipe. It has nothing to do with you being a genius, it has everything to do with you uncovering the process that worked for you (or for your customers) and will work for others. Your story becomes the proof that they can use the process too, but remember to:

 

1.                  Put the process, not the person, on a pedestal

2.                  Quantify your process

3.                  Share your failures, flaws, frustrations, and firsts

Next step?

If you want a 9 Step-Formula for telling stories that sell your processes, see my Storytelling Home-Study Course for Speakers at http://www.edgeoftheirseats.com/

8 Keys to an Effective Q&A (Questions and Answers) Session

 

Key 1: Set expectations as to how many questions you will take or how long you will entertain questions. For example, I usually say, “We’ll take 4 or 5 questions and then I’ll wrap up the message.” Or I might say, “We have 5 minutes for questions and then we’ll put a bow on the message for today.”

 

Along with setting expectations, you should also let your audience know that this is not the end. This is why I add “and then we’ll wrap up the message.” Otherwise, because audiences are used to most speakers ending with the Q and A, they might think you are at the end, which could prompt them to start packing up their papers and shuffling around in anticipation of leaving. You can solve this by setting the right expectations at the beginning of the Q and A.

 

Key 2: Do not ask, “Do you have any questions?” or “Are there any questions?” People might not respond. Instead, ask, “What questions do you have?” This is no longer about whether or not they have a question; it is about what questions they have and how many. Questions will flow out if you prompt in an open-ended way rather than using the yes or no question.

 

Key 3: Rephrase the questions. This accomplishes the following three things:

 

1.                  It affirms the person who asked the question and makes him or her feel understood.

2.                  It helps the other audience members understand what was asked because many times the questioners do not have a microphone and the audience can't hear them 

3.                  It gives you time to formulate your response.

 

Key 4: Frame your responses. For example, if it is going to be a 3-part response, let them know. You might say, “There are 3 critical strategies you can use. First, second…and finally…” This way, even if you do speak a little longer than you want, it will not feel like you are rambling. It will still be a structured response.

 

Key 5: Make sure your answers are brief. Anticipate what they will ask and prepare for those answers in advance. The longer you take to answer, the quicker they will stop believing you.

 

Key 6: Try to call on questioners from all 4 major sections of your audience. Call on someone in the front, the back, to the left, and to the right. Make them all feel involved. Also, don't just call on the "friendly faces."  

 

Key 7: Acknowledge the importance or validity of the question. I know some speakers say, “Don’t tell people they asked a good question because then everyone else you didn’t say that to will get offended.” Let them be offended. If somebody gets offended because you praised someone else, that’s their personal problem not yours. Occasionally saying, “Great question” does much more good than harm. However, only say it if you mean it.

 

Key 8: Occasionally ask, “Does that make sense?” Do not overdo it, but do use it especially if you are not sure you addressed the person’s question adequately or you read uncertainty on the person’s face (or hear it in the person’s voice). It does not hurt to check.

 

Final Thoughts

If you incorporate these 8 keys into your question and answer period, you will keep deepening your connection with each response without destroying the flow of your speech.

 

 

Is your Speech too Loose?

By "loose" I mean the content is not tied to anything. This is by far the biggest problem in public speaking...loose speeches. The solution is to make sure every major point you make in your speech is tied to an anchor of some sort. An anchor is anything that will help your audience remember the point. It gets anchored in their minds. The four major anchors I use that work best are the following:

1. Anecdotes (stories)
2. Activities
3. Analogies - (like they say: "A metaphor is worth a thousand pictures")
4. Acronyms

When the audience thinks back on any of these anchors, they automatically remember the points that were attached. A great way to make sure your speech sticks is to mix these anchors within one speech. I regularly use all 4 of them even in a short 45-minute speech.

Is your speech too loose? Anchor it!